Wednesday, April 29, 2009
So as I sit at my desk and decide what to write about I am having a tough time deciding what to say as I am to trying to wrap my head around the journey we have had so far with IVF and I guess the only word that comes to mind for me is Hope! I hope for many things in life, but I am going to be a bit selfish and tell you that I hope that at the end of our journey of IVF I will get pregnant and have my miracle.
Reflecting on the past two months thus far in IVF I found this song that is now playing in the background that I listen to often and it states exactly how I feel today! Make sure your volume is on and up!
How are you feeling today?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I hope you have enjoyed walking in my shoes for a few minutes. Have a Wonderful Week Ahead!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
8 things I am looking forward to
Brownies for dessert tonight
Having a baby
Seeing my nephew Aidan
Seeing my family when baby Hansen comes in May
Planting flowers this weekend with Chad
Going shopping this afternoon for a baby gift
Seeing my sister Jessyca with her baby girl Marley (she is due in July)
My 30th Birthday in July
8 things I did yesterday
Walked Bella in the wonderful 80 degree weather
Made Pizza for dinner
Watched a movie
Talked to my sisters Amie and Meahgen
Took a drive with Bella and Chad
Watched TV in Bed with Chad
8 things I wish I could do
Have a baby
Live closer to my sister Amie
Go on a trip to Italy
Stop eating chocolate everyday!
Be more creative
Redecorate my house each year... that could get expensive!!!
Save more money!
Think of myself before others
8 things I watch on TV
Real Housewives of New York City or Orange County
Dancing with the Stars
8 people to tag
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I don't think I would have been able to get through the past few months without my blog and the wonderful people I have met through my blog. It is strange that I can find great comfort in my struggles with infertility by reading other bloggers struggles with infertility. It amazes me that there are in fact a lot of people that struggle with infertility... I always felt alone. I felt alone because all my close friends and family have not had any issues getting pregnant. They don't know how it feels to try each month to get pregnant and at the end of the month discover that it didn't happen is heartbreaking. They don't know how it feels to under go test after test to discover nothing is wrong with you. Yes something is wrong I can't get pregnant is the thoughts I have every time we got the results back saying you are fine. They don't know how it feels to go to kid's birthday parties and celebrate birthdays when all you want is to celebrate your own child's birthday party. They don't know how I feel when friends and family tell me they are expecting, how could they... they have never faced infertility. Infertility is in my life and it has changed me over the past few years. I don't want people to be sensitive to the fact that I do not have kids I just want to feel normal, but that is not the case. People close to me are afraid to ask how things are going, they are fearful that I am going to break down, they are worried that they may hurt my feelings, whatever it is it seems as if this thing called infertility takes over and I just wish sometimes that I could go back two years ago and feel normal. The sense of feeling normal in the blog world is helpful because there are in fact so many people that have faced infertility or are facing it today. I love getting their love and support... I feel normal and okay around these people. I just wish I could feel this way around everyone else. Will this change or will I always feel this way? So I would have to say that I am very grateful for my blog and it is great therapy to me...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Things that make me smile:
1. Getting home and our dog Bella is excited to see me
2. Getting flowers from Chad... I love the tulips he got me on Thursday
3. Shopping for new purses or shoes.. which is what we did today, however no luck but last weekend in Tulsa I got the cutest Steve Madden shoes... check them out
4. Seeing new pictures of my nephew Aidan he is getting so Big - he is Now 3 Years Old
5. Seeing our friends Kim and Brad Fisher and their adorable girls Kendall and Kelsey. We had dinner with them tonight and it was great to play with them and see their smiling faces
6. Eating Brownies with Chocolate Icing... always makes me smile... yes tonight we had brownies for dessert
7. When my husband opens the car door for me... what a gentleman
8. Watching Reality TV shows that allow me to escape from my life... today I indulged in The Millionaire Matchmaker and The Real Housewives of New York City
9. Snuggling on the couch with Chad and watching Sunday night shows.. I am looking forward to tomorrow night... plus Chad is cooking and cleaning dinner that really makes me smile
10. A warm day makes me smile because I can take a walk and enjoy the sun... I hope that we get some warm days next week
What makes you smile? I believe smiling is a great quality and can make a huge difference in a day. Take some time and smile :)
I know I have a lot to smile about!
Friday, April 17, 2009
All I gotta do is hold her and love her and show her that I care
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Happy 3rd Birthday Aidan! Today is Aidan's 3rd Birthday he is such a handsome boy and I just love seeing and hearing about his stories through my sister's blog... Amie!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
So I have a few updates for our IVF Journey:
1. I no longer need to take Dexamethasone
2. I no longer need to give myself the Follistim injection
3. I no longer need to have Chad give me the Ganirelix injection
4. We are making progress...
5. I know for sure that the drive to Tulsa is getting very old... (2 hours both ways, but it will be worth it)
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts in prayers for the next few weeks. I am at peace and know that everything is in the hands of Dr. Prough and his team to make me a baby! I have faith in God and I believe strongly that it will happen.
Thank you for your continued support!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 9, 2009
My perspective over past few months has been confusing, sad, let down, and disappointed. I think about each day of IVF as confusing as I have no idea what the next steps will be... what shots I will take... what pills I will take...when will my eggs be retrieved... and will will my embryos be transferred back in to my tiny tummy? Not knowing what the next day brings with IVF is confusing and unsettling. Sadness is the feeling I have over the past 2 years that I have not been able to even get pregnant. I have know idea what it feels like and when you want something so bad and you can't have it... it brings sadness to me. I feel let down each time something negative takes place in our pursuit to get pregnant. Disappointment is with me every day as I journey through my pursuit to be a mommy! So my perspective on the past 2 years of TTC has been sad and depressing to say the least. So yes I have gained perspective that I have been sad and depressed about not being able to become a mommy. But I would also say that with the sadness I feel that I have gained a perspective that when I do get pregnant I will cherish every moment and not take anything for granted. Because I truly want it so bad! But I can today gain perspective of what the future holds and from this day forward I will not walk in a state of sadness or depression I will at least try to walk in a field of happiness and excitement for the journey that I truly feel will be a positive experience. I have felt this way all day... I feel that this journey of our IVF cycle will be rewarding and will bring us a bundle of joy to our lives. So if you are walking in life with negative feelings or disappointment I challenge you to stop and gain a perspective on your life and be happy with what is taking place as it could be worse!
Be Happy :) If I could now stop worrying! Don't Worry Be Happy... Right?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Tiffany awarded me the sisterhood award. She is walking in similar shoes as I am with infertility and I have enjoyed getting to know Tiffany
Her family is walking through difficult times over the past few weeks. Please pray for her family as they continue to face the challenges in life. Continue to have faith Tiffany and believe that everything will work out for the best. God has plans for you.
Thank you for the award!
Rules of The Sisterhood Award:
1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate 10 blogs with great attitude and/or gratitude.
3. Be sure to link to your nominees in your post.
4. Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog.
5. Be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award
The ten blogs I wish to nominate are:
1. Amie Is my twin sister and I would not be able to get through the day without her!
2. Kelly Is my loving and thoughtful neighbor and friend that has been a great supporter to me both in person and spiritually. Kelly inspired me to start blogging and I feel very blessed to know Kelly! She also has the most beautiful baby girl named Harper!
3. Ashley Is my chruch friend that I look forward to seeing each week. She is about to have her first baby girl in May. She is going to be the best mommy!
4. Lianna Is a wonderful follower and gives me great advice as I continue down my IVF journey!
5. Mary Kate Has been a great supporter of mine through IVF... she went to the same fertility center as I am and she is the most adorable twins!
6. Veronica Makes the most adorable hats and she is a great blog friend!
7. Sarah Is a blog I follow and when I view her blog I enjoy listening to her music. Sometimes I go to her blog page just to listen to the music!
8. Erin Is a high school friend that has moved from Montana to Texas and has a beautiful family! I wish more of our high school friends had blog pages. I love keeping up with what Erin and her family are up too!
9. Life of April Rose This mommy inspires me to be strong when I feel weak... her unborn baby girl April Rose is very sick and she has had to make very difficult decisions over the past few weeks. I pray each day for you April Rose. May god be with you during this difficult time in your life B!
10. Tara She has the most beautiful family with a Weimaraner. I love seeing picture of her weimy. She is expecting their first baby girl in July 2009!
Thanks again Tiffany!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Saturday evening our great friends Alex and Anthony Soto invited Chad and I to the American Heart Association Charity Event at the Embassy Suites in Rogers. It was great to dress up and get fancy with our friends. The charity event was a hit, they had great auction items and the dessert was wonderful. They had chocolate covered strawberries and petit fours... YUMMY!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Tomorrow is the big day shots begin at 5:30AM and than 12 hours later another shot. I am super nervous about the first shot! I will keep you posted!
Friday, April 3, 2009
Most of the stuff is in the bags still. I just wanted to let everyone know that they are here and the journey begins. I will continue to breathe and walk through this journey with my head up and a positive attitude. I am spending the afternoon reading up on all of these medicines and putting a plan together for Chad and I. Wish us a Luck!
Happy Friday to Everyone!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thank you to all who continue to pray for us. You don't know how much it means to me to have so much support. Happy Thursday!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
1 year later we spent our first wedding anniversey in Cancun Mexico at Adventura Spa Palace. I loved the resort and the relaxing moments I shared with Chad. I often think about all the wonderful stress free moments we shared together. We went swimming with the dolphins on that trip and we went to Tulum to see the Mayan Ruins. After that trip is when Chad and I decided that we start the journey of getting pregnant and starting our family. I never expected to experience the struggles or heartache during the journey. But no sad moments today, I am happy to be sharing my life with my loving and thoughtful husband Chad.
I would have to say that my husband is the greatest man in my life. He brings so much joy and happiness to my life. He knows when to hug me when I am sad, he knows when I need to laugh and have fun, he knows when I need time to be alone, he knows what I want and if you know him well he usually ends up getting me what I want... even when I tell me I do not need it. I can't wait to spend the next 60 plus years with Chad. I love you Chad!