Friday, March 30, 2012

having 2

Having 2 children
our experience so far...
Grayson is 22 months old
Crew is 28 days old

We have made it 28 days with two children and boy has it been a WILD ride. 
I will tell you that my heart aches some days when Grayson is sad and all he wants is his mommy to sit with him or play with him, but I can't because I am caring for Crew or nursing him. 
For example I experienced this first hand yesterday afternoon.  I picked up Grayson from daycare at 3:30PM.  They said that he had a WONDERFUL day at daycare.  Slept great, eat very well, and played great.  So I thought wow we are going to have a great time when we get home.  I was wrong...
The moment we walked into the door it was tear after tear.  It all started with me showing him a new shirt I purchased him.  I am not a big fan of character T's, but Grayson is totally into Toy Story right now and Old Navy had a cute collectible Toy Story T-Shirt that I thought Grayson would love.  I was wrong I showed him the shirt and I thought he would instantly want to put it on.  Nope... he cried and cried because Woody was on the shirt and he could not take him off.  So I decided the best thing to do was put the shirt away.  So after that we got a snack and moved into the playroom to play.  At this moment I could tell he was missing me because if I left the room he would cry or he would quickly start searching for me in the house.  I decided it was best for me to just stay in the playroom and play with him.  Well than Crew needed attention as in needed to eat.  This did not sit well for Grayson.  I ended up sitting on the playroom floor nursing Crew and holding a bubble bottle so Grayson could blow bubbles.  This is the only thing that made him happy.  It was a great moment between Grayson and I, if though it was difficult to nurse and play at the same time, as he finally learned to blow bubbles and he was so excited.  He would get the biggest smile on his face and start jumping up and down.  It was adorable!  It was messy, but worth every moment. 
However than the bubbles spilled and nothing was left cue tears again from Grayson.  I was still nursing Crew so I had to come up with something else to make Grayson happy... nothing was working he just wanted me to hold him.  It was tough and I hated that he was sad.  So I ended up having Crew in my arms and Grayson sitting on my lap at the same time.  I turned on Shrek and all was okay for a few moments.  I finally got Crew settled down and happy.  I put him in the nap nanny and quickly started dinner for Grayson before Crew started getting fussy.  Crew stayed happy all through Grayson's dinner and the moment we started bath time for Grayson Crew had a enough and wanted me to hold him.  So I had Crew and Grayson both in the bathroom.  Grayson in the tub and Crew on the bathroom rug hanging out so I could finish up with Grayson's bath.  We moved into the living room finished getting Grayson dressed Crew cried the entire time, but there was nothing else I could do at the moment.  I had to quickly get Grayson dressed and settled.  Until daddy got home we all sat on the couch and snuggled and watched Shrek.  Grayson was finally his happy self after a little attention and food...just in time for daddy to walk in the door and guess what Crew was sleeping too.
I will say finding a balance is tough, but with each day I am hoping it gets better.  This is just what it is like having two.

Happy 4 Weeks to our little peanut!
  

14 comments:

Ashley said...

It is SO hard at first but believe me when I say it gets better. My oldest was 25 months when his little brother came along (last August). It took a GOOD 2-3 months for everyone to adjust. Especially my 2 year old. It's now 7 months later and everything feels "right!" No one is fighting for mommy anymore. You have to remember how much Grayson is used to being the only one. It's a HUGE adjustment for them but I PROMISE it gets better. I will be praying for you in the mean time. :)

Traci said...

Oh man...this will be my life in about 7 weeks. I have an 18 month old. What tips to you have for two under two? My biggest worry is the lack of sleep and the nursing/pumping.

Angie said...

Shew, I'm getting ready to have my 3rd! My daughter is 13 so she doesn't require as much attention but I've also got an 18 month old and I know when the new baby comes finding a balance between him and the new baby is going to be tough. I'm sure you will find your groove soon momma, hang in there!

Stephanie said...

Wow- busy moments! Thanks for letting us peek inside, I am curious how it feels before you get the balance worked out. Hoping things get better each day! :)

kimmie said...

I can totally relate to everything you have said! It is hard but so worth all the sweet moments!

Aja said...

I remember those days well. My oldest two are 19 no this apart. But now, 18 months later, they are the best of friends. The little looks up to the big and calls for him first thing in the morning and the big says, "M is my best friend. I love having a little brother." I know it's hard, but it will get easier. Giving Grayson a sibling is a wonderful gift and he'll adjust before you know it.

Karen At Home said...

Oh Melissa, I am right there with you! It's so hard being torn between both babies, especially when the oldest is used to you being there for him every moment. Hang in there, I hope it gets better for both of us!!!

me. in hiding said...

oh yes, i've so been there...

two things that helped me {my girls are 17months apart}:
1) a "nursing box" for the bigger kid. with stuff that's only "big kid stuff" and which will used ONLY when nursing the little one.

2) carrying the little one. {in a sling} it did wonders for all of us. my hands were free, the little one was nearby and the big kid didn't feel left out. and the mommy didn't feel torn between all the needs.

hoping that your weekend will be a nice one!
leslie

rsiewert said...

The best advice i got after my second was born was to put the older one first. If the baby is crying for something but the older one needs your help always help them first. The baby wont remember crying for a couple minutes and once the older is situated its always easier to care for baby. It was so hard to listen the the little cry and i remember just laughing because i didn't know what else to do! My daughter was 5 when our baby was born so it was a little easier to tell her i needed to feed the baby and she needed to wait or whatever but that also means i had to take her to and from school so baby had to be on her schedule. I promise it will get easier by the day as you all adapt! Grayson will get used to sharing your attention and be more calm when your busy. Maybe make a special basket with stuff he can do only while your feeding Crew. You can make a big deal out of his "big brother basket" Oh and i had to learn that you nurse where ever you need to. It was never in the same spot or the most comfortable spot! Sitting on the bathroom floor or toilet seat during big sisters bath time happened more than once!

Hugs- Rebecca Siewert

rsiewert said...

The best advice i got after my second was born was to put the older one first. If the baby is crying for something but the older one needs your help always help them first. The baby wont remember crying for a couple minutes and once the older is situated its always easier to care for baby. It was so hard to listen the the little cry and i remember just laughing because i didn't know what else to do! My daughter was 5 when our baby was born so it was a little easier to tell her i needed to feed the baby and she needed to wait or whatever but that also means i had to take her to and from school so baby had to be on her schedule. I promise it will get easier by the day as you all adapt! Grayson will get used to sharing your attention and be more calm when your busy. Maybe make a special basket with stuff he can do only while your feeding Crew. You can make a big deal out of his "big brother basket" Oh and i had to learn that you nurse where ever you need to. It was never in the same spot or the most comfortable spot! Sitting on the bathroom floor or toilet seat during big sisters bath time happened more than once!

Hugs- Rebecca Siewert

Kodi said...

In these moments instead of allowing myself to get sad or wonder if we made a mistake, I tried to focus on reminding myself that it was GOOD for Manning (or Greyson in your case) to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him and that even when you're busy with the baby, you're still his mama and will always take care of him even if it's not on his time. Having two close together is a challenge, but I really believe they'll both be less selfish kids because of it.

Meredith said...

Its a hard transition for a little one to learn how to share mommy's attention. When we brought home our daughter who is now almost 2 our son was 22 months at the time. He would cry and tantrum when we had to feed the baby. He even spat at her a few time with his hand. This we taught him immediately is bad. However, after that occurred it dawned me to incorporate him into feeding her. We bottle fed so I would sit him next to me in the rocking chair and let me help him hold her bottle. I would talk to both of them and especially continue talking about who she was, his little sister. Someone he loves and protects. They are best friends now he is 3 1/2 and she will be 2 in a few months. Hang in there it does get easier!

Brittney said...

I've transitioned from 1 to 2 to 3 - and 2 was by far the most difficult! I balanced my time between them both - sometimes the baby had to cry for a few minutes while my 17 month old had my attention, sometimes it was the other way around. I tried to make the most of the time the baby was asleep with my oldest - and if that meant that the baby slept in the swing so as not to be disturbed, that's what I did!

Nursing, though, was the toughest. With the first it's awesome, like a little break. With the second, you're constantly worried about what the big kid is doing! I tried to schedule nursing (and the pumping that I did immediately after) around breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, so that the oldest was in his high chair and occupied while I fed the baby. Nursing boxes also worked well, but I found that giving my oldest some berries and a few crackers worked, too!

Robin said...

It is a hard transition but yes, it gets easier!!!! When I was very pregnant with Emily, I bought Caleb a Thomas the Train shirt because he was SO into Thomas and a little boy had one on and he loved looking at it. So I found one and thought he would be so excited but he got so mad when I put it on him. I guess because he couldn't look at it? I was so upset (being pregnant and emotional didn't help). But now he loves that shirt and other shirts with Mickey on them :) Y'all will get into a routine soon and it will get so much better! Caleb and Emily are starting to play with each other and it's so fun to watch! Grayson and Crew will have lots of fun :)

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