Friday, March 30, 2012

having 2

Having 2 children
our experience so far...
Grayson is 22 months old
Crew is 28 days old

We have made it 28 days with two children and boy has it been a WILD ride. 
I will tell you that my heart aches some days when Grayson is sad and all he wants is his mommy to sit with him or play with him, but I can't because I am caring for Crew or nursing him. 
For example I experienced this first hand yesterday afternoon.  I picked up Grayson from daycare at 3:30PM.  They said that he had a WONDERFUL day at daycare.  Slept great, eat very well, and played great.  So I thought wow we are going to have a great time when we get home.  I was wrong...
The moment we walked into the door it was tear after tear.  It all started with me showing him a new shirt I purchased him.  I am not a big fan of character T's, but Grayson is totally into Toy Story right now and Old Navy had a cute collectible Toy Story T-Shirt that I thought Grayson would love.  I was wrong I showed him the shirt and I thought he would instantly want to put it on.  Nope... he cried and cried because Woody was on the shirt and he could not take him off.  So I decided the best thing to do was put the shirt away.  So after that we got a snack and moved into the playroom to play.  At this moment I could tell he was missing me because if I left the room he would cry or he would quickly start searching for me in the house.  I decided it was best for me to just stay in the playroom and play with him.  Well than Crew needed attention as in needed to eat.  This did not sit well for Grayson.  I ended up sitting on the playroom floor nursing Crew and holding a bubble bottle so Grayson could blow bubbles.  This is the only thing that made him happy.  It was a great moment between Grayson and I, if though it was difficult to nurse and play at the same time, as he finally learned to blow bubbles and he was so excited.  He would get the biggest smile on his face and start jumping up and down.  It was adorable!  It was messy, but worth every moment. 
However than the bubbles spilled and nothing was left cue tears again from Grayson.  I was still nursing Crew so I had to come up with something else to make Grayson happy... nothing was working he just wanted me to hold him.  It was tough and I hated that he was sad.  So I ended up having Crew in my arms and Grayson sitting on my lap at the same time.  I turned on Shrek and all was okay for a few moments.  I finally got Crew settled down and happy.  I put him in the nap nanny and quickly started dinner for Grayson before Crew started getting fussy.  Crew stayed happy all through Grayson's dinner and the moment we started bath time for Grayson Crew had a enough and wanted me to hold him.  So I had Crew and Grayson both in the bathroom.  Grayson in the tub and Crew on the bathroom rug hanging out so I could finish up with Grayson's bath.  We moved into the living room finished getting Grayson dressed Crew cried the entire time, but there was nothing else I could do at the moment.  I had to quickly get Grayson dressed and settled.  Until daddy got home we all sat on the couch and snuggled and watched Shrek.  Grayson was finally his happy self after a little attention and food...just in time for daddy to walk in the door and guess what Crew was sleeping too.
I will say finding a balance is tough, but with each day I am hoping it gets better.  This is just what it is like having two.

Happy 4 Weeks to our little peanut!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

{Crew} Just Born/0 Month

Crew will be one month old next week so I thought that I should probably do a 0 month post recap before I do the one month post. 

I took his pictures a few days after we got home from the hospital so these pictures are when he was 8 days old (I think).
Crew is a wonderful addition to our family.

Crew Winton you entered this world on March 02, 2012 and spent 6 days in the NICU for bradycardia and reflux.  You finally were able to come home on March 8th, 2012 and we could not be HAPPIER to have you in our family.

You have blond hair, light eyelashes, and light eyebrows.  You have big blue eyes and adorable kissable lips just like your brother.  You have had beautiful skin color from day one.  You did not have jaundice at all.  
Cruising Crew Stats:
6 pounds 6 ounces at birth
21 inches in length
on March 8th, 2012 when we left the hospital you weighed
6 pounds 1 ounce
and on March 13th, 2012 at your two week check up you weighed
7 pounds
You wear size 0 to 7 pounds from baby Gap or newborn clothes
Size newborn diapers
and tiny tiny socks that don't stay on your feet
You like to be swaddled with arms out just like your brother did when he was a newborn

You are a paci baby, but you only really use it if I am trying to get you to go to sleep at night
Our first night home was wonderful you got up every three hours and went right back to sleep.  It was wonderful and you slept in the nap nanny right next to me.  That way I could hear you breathe.  As for the days following we have good nights and not so good nights.  We have nights where you get up every two hours and you don't go back to sleep right away.  There has been some nights that your mommy only gets an hour of sleep before your next feeding.  But mommy knows this is just a season in newborn life and it will get better.
Your umbilical cord took forever to fall off.  It finally fell off on March 21st, 2012.  That evening we gave you your first official bath in the baby tub. 

Your big brother Grayson loves you to pieces.  He gets so excited when he sees you and wants to hold you all the time.  He also likes to show you his Toy Story friends.  He also likes to drive his cars and tractors on your belly and head... he doesn't understand why he can't do this, but we tell him to be soft with you.  I look forward to seeing you both play together and become best buddies.
Crew you have stolen our hearts and our hearts have expanded for a special love for you.  You are our sweet baby boy and we can't imagine a day without you in it.  But the days and weeks can slow down so you don't grow up so quickly.  I can't believe next week you will be a month old. 

with love,
mommy and daddy  

Saturday, March 24, 2012

week 12 {frame a day}

Right now I feel like this is the only thing I am able to keep up with in regards to my blog.  I have so many posts to write, pictures to edit, and details to document.  I am hoping next week that I will be able to get a few things completed.  Crew and I will spend our first week together just him and I.  Daddy will be working and Grayson is going back to school after spending the week at home with me last week while my mom was visiting.   

For now here is week 12 frame a day project

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

week 11 - frame a day

Week 11 {frame a day}
Is all about brother love

This is the only day I was not able to take a picture of the boys together.  But some great images individually of my sweet boys!
Grayson got the Toy Story collection from Gigi (my mom) and he had to have lunch with them. 

Grayson is doing so well at being a BIG brother!  He loves Crew so much and wants to hold him at least once a day if not more.  Grayson has hit Crew a couple of times, but we correct him and tell him soft and sweet hands.  He likes to touch his face and point to his eyes and nose.  But once he is done holding Crew he starts pushing away Crew's head. 
I am very proud and happy that Grayson is doing so well with Crew.  The real test will be when I am alone with the boys for the first time.  Chad is back to work this week, but my mom is here visiting from Montana and is a GREAT help to us.   
Now that we have Crew and he is so little I now think Grayson is such a big boy. 
He is a BIG boy and a great BIG brother! 

Sorry for my lack of blogging I don't think I will be posting every day because when I do have a free moment it is at night and all I want to do is go to bed.
So thankful I have my iPhone it has allowed me to keep up with the frame a day project and take priceless pictures of my boys! 

Have a great day!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

crew's 1st well visit

Crew's 1st Well Visit was this morning and he is WONDERFUL!
This makes my heart so happy! 

Crew weighs 7 pounds
20 inches in length
head is 35.3 cm

Here is our little guy in a milk coma laying on the table at the doctor's office

It is so funny the things we have done differently with Crew vs Grayson. 
I dry my hair in the bathroom and Crew is in our bedroom just a few feet away.  I would never do this with Grayson.
We vacuum our house and when Grayson was a newborn or even now we would never vacuum unless Grayson was or is wake.  Now we vacuum and he sleeps through it all! 
I have the TV on right now as I type this post and Crew is sleeping soundly.  For Grayson I would not do this unless he was up.  I would make our house completely quiet so Grayson could sleep. 
At 10 days old yesterday we took Crew to Walmart and did a little shopping at the mall.  I don't think I left the house at all after Grayson was born.  I think it took us awhile to get to the point where we were okay going out with Grayson. 
Just typing all of these details makes me laugh how much we have changed as new parents and now seasoned parents. 
I think I was nervous about what we would do if he cried and needed to be nursed etc.  Now that Crew is our second baby I feel more comfortable with a feeding schedule and what he may need at any given moment.  At least I hope :)
I found this great APP thanks to someone on Twitter mentioning it.  It tracks feedings both breast and bottle feeding.  I am breastfeeding Crew and this APP will track how long you are feeding, which breast you are feeding off of, and it will remind you when your next feeding is due.  I love this APP and it is called iBaby Feed it is $1.99 for the iPhone.

Last night we took Grayson on a special frozen yogurt treat... just because, but really it was to satisfy a craving I have had forever.  

as you can see he loved it!

week 10 - frame a day

Week 10 frame a day
I love how all of these black and white images turned out!

So thankful for my iPhone and the great quality of camera that it has which has allowed me to take wonderful images of both Grayson and Crew at any moment. 

Monday, March 12, 2012

Crew's Story

Saturday march 3, 2012 
Our Crew's story started with a 6 day stay in the NICU.  It all started in the late hours of Friday March 2nd, 2012.  They came to my room to tell me that Crew's pulse dropped into the 60's and that he needed to be put on a heart monitor and evaluated by the doctor.  At that moment he would not be coming back to my room.  I only was able to hold him for about 15 minutes before he was taken to the nursery to be accessed.  It was scary when the NICU nurse shared the news with me, but I was remaining positive until I heard further news from the doctor.  I knew Crew was in great hands.  Throughout the night they continued to give me updates and around 5AM Chad and I were able to go to the NICU for a visit.  

Here is the first picture of Crew in the NICU

We met with Dr S, who is Grayson's pediatrician and will also be Crew's, he went over every detail of what was going on with Crew and what needed to take place to get further results.  He said that Crew had a heart murmur and his heart was also having bradycardia activity.  Bradycardia is a disorder of the heart rate (pulse) or heart rhythm.  In Crew's case his heart was beating too slow and was irregular.  He already had one "brady" early on Saturday morning and in order for Crew to be released from the NICU and room with me he had to be "brady" free for 48 hours.  Dr S also had several EKG's completed on Crew, an ultrasound of his heart, and a scan of his brain completed.  All of these tests were sent to Children's Hospital in Little Rock to be reviewed.  Dr S told us that we would probably not hear back from Children's Hospital until Monday.  We remained positive and hopeful that maybe Crew would not have any more "brady" episodes and he would be able to come to my room.  That was not the case he had another episode on Saturday afternoon.  Crew's pulse, oxygen level, and heart were all monitored which meant several wires attached to his tiny body.  They also had an IV in him for fluids since at that moment on Saturday I was not able to nurse him yet.  So later that morning I was given a hospital pump to help maintain my supply so I would be ready when it was time to nurse.  During one of our morning visits Crew's IV blew in his arm it was so sad seeing his tiny little arm get huge and swollen from the IV.  Chad and I immediately left because I could not stand seeing our little guy hurting and I felt like it would be best if we leave and come back after they fixed the IV.  They moved his IV to his foot and we did not have any further issues.  Each visit to the NICU on Saturday was tough.  Seeing and not being able to hold Crew was sad.  I often told Chad that I wish I could climb into his cradle under the heat lamp and just hold him.   
We had several visitors come to the hospital to meet Crew and we tried our best to let all see him through the NICU window, but we didn't want to distrub Crew to much.  We appreciated all the love and support we received on that Saturday.  During that day we both remained very positive that everything was going to be okay.  Crew was in great hands and we knew that in order for him to get better we just needed to have patience and wait until Children's Hospital got back to us on the results. 
The results arrived on Sunday, a day early...YEAH!  Crew's ultrasound of his heart and head were all GREAT.  The structure of his heart looked great, there was no issues with his head, and the EKG showed that the electrical waves of his heart were the only issue.  It was finally okay to begin nursing Crew.  It was a wonderful feeling to nurse Crew and hold him.  Nursing was a challenge because I was still waiting for my milk supply to drop and between the wires I had on for my heart and all the wires Crew had it made it difficult to position us both.  As for the next steps for Crew we didn't receive a plan from the peditrician on call until Monday morning.  The rest of our Sunday was spent visiting Crew every three hours for feedings and snuggle time.  Grayson also came to visit his mommy and we watched Shrek and snuggled in the hospital bed. 

Monday March 5th, 2012 after the peditrician on call did his rounds in the NICU he stopped by our room to discuss further plans for Crew.  At this point the last "brady" episode that Crew had was on Saturday afternoon.  We were very hopeful that he would not have anymore and be able to come to my room on Tuesday.  That was the plan we discussed with the doctor that morning.  However things changed when Crew had another "brady" episode that afternoon.  The doctor decided to start Zantac because he thought that Crew might have reflux that was causing his heart rate to slow down.  He began the Zantac on Monday and at that point it was a waiting game to see if the Zantac would help.  I will tell you waiting and being patient for results is not my strong point when all I wanted to do was bring my baby home.  Plus it was SO HARD to be in the hospital and away from Grayson, but leaving Crew or the hospital was not something I wanted to do.  Our Monday was spent visiting Crew as often as we could and later in the evening Grayson always stopped by for a short visit. 

Tuesday March 6th, 2012 consisted of more waiting to see if the medicine would help.  At this point I was getting frustrated because I didn't understand why would a slow heart rate (bradycardia) and reflux have to do with one another.  I didn't understand at all how the medicine would help with his heart rate.  I felt like all we were doing was see what happens.  I also felt besides all the wires that were attached to Crew that he acted and looked like a normal newborn.  He was nursing great, pooping and peeing great, his color looked great, and the NICU nurses supported him by monitoring him on the machines.  Other than that I was doing all the feedings for Crew day and night, I was giving him sponge baths, I was changing his clothes, and changing all diapers.  Tuesday was a day with no "brady" episodes.
So once Chad arrived to the hospital that day we asked to speak with the doctor to discuss Crew.  We felt as if we were just doing a lot of waiting and wanted to see results and Crew to come home.  Once we met with the doctor the options we had were continue to wait and see if the medicine was doing its job, or we could do a throat shallow study to see if Crew had reflux, and lastly I could pump and add thickening formula or medicine to make the breast milk thicker. The last option I did not want to explore. I wanted to be able to nurse Crew as long as possible. However I will tell you if that was my last option to make CREW better we would do it in a HEARTBEAT! We decided to do the throat shallow study. Crew had this study completed around 11AM that same day and a few hours later it was confirmed that Crew has a severe case of reflux.  The doctor decided to change his medicine. Later that day during one of our afternoon feedings we found out that they did not change the medicine. The plan was to see how Crew did overnight and tomorrow morning before making a change. I felt like I was on pin and needles just waiting hour by hour to see if Crew would or would not have an episode.
I was getting cabin fever sitting in the hospital all day so on Tuesday I went to lunch with Chad and I also went home for dinner.  Going home was VERY difficult for me.  I was so upset the moment I walked into the door.  I never thought that I would come home without my baby.  It was WONDERFUL to see Grayson and play with him, but an hour and a half later I had to leave in order to make it back to the hospital for Crew's 8PM feeding.  Leaving the house and having Grayson upset with me was hard.  He just wanted me to play with him.  I cried all the way back to the hospital.  I know that I only did this for 6 days, but those 6 days were VERY difficult for me. 

Wednesday March 7th, 2012 brought on a different story for Crew, he had not had any "brady" activity since Monday at lunch time and we were getting so excited that the end was in sight.  During both the 8AM feeding and the 11AM feeding I would walk in and ask how did he do... and with excitement the NICU nurses would tell me that he is doing great!  At the 11AM feeding it was my last feeding in the NICU because I was able to take Crew to my room after that feeding and we began our 24 hour period of rooming in together before going home.  It was so exciting and wonderful to have Crew in my room.  Our afternoon was spent snuggling and taking naps during feedings.  That evening Grayson came to the hospital to meet his little brother again.  He was so excited and kept waving his hands and saying hi.  It was wonderful to have both my boys in one room. 
Our first overnight together was tough.  Crew wanted me to hold him and would not sleep in the plastic bassinet.  I tried several times before giving in and letting him sleep on my chest.  Needless to say I didn't sleep much, but it was TOTALLY worth it! 

Thursday March 8th, 2012 the day we went HOME!

I appreciate and love all the NICU nurses that cared for our Crew.  Doing their job day in and day out has to be difficult.  They have the best patiences with both the babies and the parents.  We are very thankful for their love and support during our stay in the NICU.  We also appreciate the doctors we worked with during our 6 day stay and even though we seemed impatient at times we appreicate your kindness and patience with us.  
Thank you for caring for our baby boy!  

Here are several pictures throughout the week.  Sorry for the long post, but I decided to write his story in one long post vs several daily posts. 

a moment at home coloring and playing with Grayson
1st image of Crew in mommy's hospital room

Grayson meeting Crew


to our sweet crew

your wee little life has changed us. the day you were born was like a new beginning for all of us too. a change that will forever lay soft upon our heart. everything in our life is sweeter because of you. the days and fleeting moments with you are only a breath in time.  they linger briefly and fly away on the wings of tomorrow. you are precious in every way. the sunshine in our day, the joy in our soul, and our love.


your mommy, daddy, and grayson
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