Do you ever have days that are tough and you want to stay in bed and cry. While this is one of those days. Part of the reason is that I am sad today is the last day of being in my twenties and another reason is I am approaching my thirties and Chad and I promised each other that we would be pregnant before I turned 30. And tomorrow is the day and I am not pregnant. I hate living in these shoes I don't want to live in a world of infertility I want to live in the world where I am a mommy. This gift of being a mommy doesn't cost anything it is priceless. I want to be able to do all the things that mommies do with their kids. I want to experience all the things that mommies experience. I want some one to call me mommy. This is all that I want it is a simple gift, but I don't understand why I can't have it. Don't I deserve it? What have I done to not have this dream? What do I need to do differently? Who do I need to talk too? More importantly how do I remain strong enough to continue down this road of having a baby and say yes lets keep trying? How can I be happy? How do I deal with all the friends and family members that have babies or children and just smile and be okay. Because quite honestly I want to run FAST and HIDE away from all the pain I have in my heart. So now that I have cried through this entire post I am going to go and find strength to get some work done. If any followers have any great wisdom or supportive words that they would like to share with me please send them my way.
Before I leave I want to let every one know that I am now on Twitter. So if you would like to follow me you can at MelissaStories. Happy Tuesday My Friends!