Thursday, April 9, 2009

Pursuit to Happiness...

As I read through my sister's blog for today it made me think about gaining perspective on my life and what has taken place for the past few months and years. Thanks Amie for your thoughts today. First I would like to first state that the shots and medicine that I am on for IVF have messed up my hormones and I feel frustrated and angry at the moment that I write this!
My perspective over past few months has been confusing, sad, let down, and disappointed. I think about each day of IVF as confusing as I have no idea what the next steps will be... what shots I will take... what pills I will take...when will my eggs be retrieved... and will will my embryos be transferred back in to my tiny tummy? Not knowing what the next day brings with IVF is confusing and unsettling. Sadness is the feeling I have over the past 2 years that I have not been able to even get pregnant. I have know idea what it feels like and when you want something so bad and you can't have it... it brings sadness to me. I feel let down each time something negative takes place in our pursuit to get pregnant. Disappointment is with me every day as I journey through my pursuit to be a mommy! So my perspective on the past 2 years of TTC has been sad and depressing to say the least. So yes I have gained perspective that I have been sad and depressed about not being able to become a mommy. But I would also say that with the sadness I feel that I have gained a perspective that when I do get pregnant I will cherish every moment and not take anything for granted. Because I truly want it so bad! But I can today gain perspective of what the future holds and from this day forward I will not walk in a state of sadness or depression I will at least try to walk in a field of happiness and excitement for the journey that I truly feel will be a positive experience. I have felt this way all day... I feel that this journey of our IVF cycle will be rewarding and will bring us a bundle of joy to our lives. So if you are walking in life with negative feelings or disappointment I challenge you to stop and gain a perspective on your life and be happy with what is taking place as it could be worse!

Be Happy :) If I could now stop worrying! Don't Worry Be Happy... Right?

2 comments:

Amie and Brian said...

Well said Melissa, I believe that this whole blogging experience is a way to say what is on each other's minds and let the world into your life sort of.. Everyone has a story and expresses emotions differently and maybe because we have a unique bond that I am able to understand and somewhat relate to or at least give out different perspectives on life. We are both blessed with what has been given to us in our lives throughout the 29 years together and we will continue down this journey together as our unique bond continues to experience completely different life journies but we are able to respect each other and share those journies and be happy and supportive of each other. Love you and thanks for expressing truly how you feel, it is respected by me and hopefully with others.

Veronica said...

Melissa,

I'm so sorry that I haven't left any comments lately. It's been a little crazy over here this week. I am continuing to pray for you. Sometimes your name just pops in my head throughout the day and right then as I'm thinking about you I pray that the Lord will give you strength.

Also, I totally didn't notice until now that you had given me the Sisterhood Award. Thank you so much. That means so much to me. I will work on posting about it today.

Hope you guys have a great Easter!

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