Sunday, April 26, 2009

Infertility Post - Amazed!

Before doing research and seeking help by doctors I thought that I was the only person with issues with getting pregnant. My thought was due to the fact that all our friends around me have babies or kids and it did not seem like they had any issues. That is how naive I was to infertility. They could have had issues... but I did not know! Even when we began testing I still was not aware of the word infertility or the fact that I would have issues with fertility. First I will start by telling everyone that we did in fact begin trying to have a baby in the summer of 2007 and we spent the year enjoying trying to have a baby until the summer of 2008. Once the summer hit and we were still not pregnant I became concerned and during my annual exam I explained to my doctor that we had been trying for a year to get pregnant with BFN each month. Of course my desire to have a baby led to tears during our visit and we immediately began testing. I went to the doctor for several blood work tests, I had the Fallopian tube test (which was horrible), and ovulation testing. Which all resulted in us seeking help to make sure that all was well with Chad. In the end my doctor felt that with the assistance of Artificial Insemination (IUI) we would get pregnant. With an IUI you have to time the procedure with the help of an ovulation predictor kit, which helps determine if I was ovulating. We were able to time it right and we had our first IUI in December of 2008. The procedure is not too painful, just uncomfortable. The worst part is having to wait two weeks to find out if I was pregnant. I just knew I was pregnant, but at the end of the two weeks AF (my period) showed up and gave me the heartbreaking answer that no it did not work! I was so upset I could not believe that it did not work. So we timed it right again and we were able to try another IUI again in January 2009. So again waiting for two weeks is what we did! It was tough because I had a feeling that it did not work and again AF showed up at the end of the two weeks and I was again heartbroken. I remember during this time friends telling me it will happen don't worry it will happen, but it hasn't happened. What next? I remember being so upset with the second IUI that I was ready to give up! Having my dreams be destroyed each month and getting upset each month was to much for me, but for some reason at the beginning of each month I found hope and I was ready to try something new! So that is what we did we started something new! February 2009 was the month we began our journey with the Tulsa Fertility Center. This is the month that I finally realized that we are walking in the shoes of a couple with infertility. I remember the day like it was yesterday... we met with Dr. Stanley Prough on February 18th, 2009 to discuss what our options were and we both went into the meeting with the same goal and objectives. Our goal was to have a baby and our objective was to do what the doctor ordered. If he said you should do another IUI we would do another IUI... if he said we needed to have surgery or additional testing we would do it... if he said that we needed to do IVF we would do it... it was in his hands he was in control at this point. After a few tests on me... which was a vaginal ultrasound... very uncomfortable and something I cannot and will not ever get use to having done... it was concluded that we needed IVF to have a baby. I was so thankful that we had a plan and we were heading in the right direction, but at the same time I was clueless on the process of IVF. I immediately started during research as soon as we got home. I was shocked on the amount of information that is online about IVF. I remember spending late nights reading on stories and the process of IVF for several days. I was so happy I was full of the knowledge and understanding of IVF. I was both excited and terrifed at the same time if that is possible. IVF is no laughing joke it is serious... it time consuming... it is finanically consuming... it is emotional... so going into the process with blind eyes is not recommended! So my first advice to any couples out there that are beginning the journey of IVF READ READ AND READ... know as much information as you can. It makes the process easier and understandable when you have appointments. As well to all the friends out there that know couples that are facing infertility or IVF please take the time to read about what they are going through... It might help with your friendship with them and the feelings they might be having during their journey with IVF or Infertility. Walking alone in the process of IVF is very difficult and if you don't have someone that understands the feelings you are having than you may feel alone and lost. I would also recommend reaching out to the Blogging community... I was amazed at how many people out their blog about infertility. It helped me in so many ways and has continued to help me. I thank god everyday that I started this blog...thanks Kelly...if not I would have not met the people I have met today and I would be lost in the walk of IVF and infertility. I have learned so much from the following blogs:
Our Journey
I hope you have enjoyed walking in my shoes for a few minutes. Have a Wonderful Week Ahead!


Stuart and Sarah Creamer said...

Yes, after finding out our only option for having a baby was IVF, I did what you did. I read, read, read and read some more. After going through IVF twice and a FET once, I still continue to read, read and read! Blogging is such a wonderful outlet and I love meeting people who share the same experiences and let me know I am not alone!

Kelly said...

I was right there with you Melissa. I felt so alone until I started blogging and realized it's almost strange to NOT have problems. I felt so much better when I realized we were FAR from alone. I'm glad you are sharing about your journey - you are now going to help others! And I can't wait until the day VERY soon when you get to have that happy ending!!!!
And p.s. that tube test really was the WORST thing ever. I think it hurt worse than actually having a baby. ha!

Mary Kate said...

I wish you the best of luck!! I was in your same shoes last year at this time. Actually one year ago tomorrow was my egg seems like forever ago...lots of things can change in one year!! hopefully, this time next year, you will have a little bundle of joy (or 2) in your arms!!

The Pifer's said...

I reposted the NIAW post and I think it's wonderful, thank you SOOOO much for posting it!!!! I look forward to reading your stories as well as many others....always praying for you sweetie!

G & H said...

Great post! Found your blog thru the Pifer's and look forward to following your journey! The Lord has currently lead our hearts to adoption and that is where we are at right now! Best wishes on your IVF it works for so many women I swear!!! Look forward to following your journey and please feel free to follow ours

tara said...

Melissa I will continue to keep your sweet family in our prayers until the day you are given the wonderful news. I can't wait to read all about it very soon! -Tara

Anonymous said...


I am so glad you are blogging about your journey and doing this special weekly spotlight. The journey is more bearable on "this side of the fence," but gosh, reading through your posts brings back so much of the heartache. I blocked out so much, you know? I remember longing for an answer as to WHY. Now, I realize that why wasn't a concern...but back then I desperately needed to know. I looked all over the country and in every book I could get my hands on. I looked at my Pastor and said, WHY us? Sometimes we don't know the Lord's plan, but I truly was tested and realized that I needed to rest in him. The pain is never forgotten...the heart gets stronger but the memory is always a part of me--because my infertility was a part of who I was. I had some dark days when I begged to have a child in my arms. It still makes my heart hurt.

I really appreciate your honesty in posting...and I think you are a tremendous blessing and support to those who have been there, those who are in the midst of their trials, and for those who are at the brink of finding their own resolution. The pain does get better...and although this might sound strange, looking back, I am thankful I learned from my journey, and I was stronger because of it. My faith grew, my marriage was stronger than ever...and no matter what, the Lord was with me. His unfailingly love was always there. His plan, in His took me a while to really let my heart and mind stop asking WHY. I had my husband and God to lean on during that storm, but gosh friend, what I would have given to have the love and support from the blogging community. There were days I just remember thinking, "I wish I could call someone who understands."

I remember after our 3rd IVF, I resolved that I was done. I was then ready for other ways to find our baby. God had other plans for us--the 3rd time resulted in our now 7-year old. And I still think WOW when I was able to conceive the second child with nothing. Both blessings and both HUGE surprises. God is amazingly good...ALL the time.

Hoping, praying, and loving ya today!


Ashley said...

Melissa you know I love you and think about you everyday! Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us girls... you are just adorable! I pray for you sooo much you have no idea! Hang in there!!! XOXO!

Traci said...

Melissa- I know how hard this must be for you and your husband. Your openness and honesty are probably helping someone right at this moment. I have some good friends who are going through the same thing and I will have to pass your blog along to them. You all are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

Great honest post! It is nice to read your prespective on what you are going through to give as a reminder to not take things for granted in life. I love you and thanks for always allowing me to be apart of this journey and being you. Talk to you soon.

Lianna Knight said...

Praying for your blessing in 2009!!! We will get pregnant...I believe it :)

Ape said...


I do not know you, but I found you through my best friend Tiffany ( blog. I have been with her during their 3 yr infertility struggles and it pains me to see how many women are out their hurting and suffering from this. I want you to know that I think each and every one of you are absolutley AMAZING WOMEN. You all inspire me in ways I thought weren't possible. I know that their are road blocks on the way to recieving your blessings but I know that each and every one of you will get your precious angel from God. I have added you as a blogger to follow and I hope you dont mind. Best wishes to you and your family!!!

♥ Apryle

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