Mother's Day

First I would like to take the time to write a short letter to my mom:

Happy Mother's Day Mom! I hope that you have a great day! I truly wish that I could be with you today. But always know that I am thinking of you on your special day. Thank you for being a such kind, caring, thoughtful, loving, supportive mom. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. You are a great mom to all your girls, a great grandma to Aidan and Drew, a great daugther to your parents, and a great friend. I look forward to the day that I can be a wonderful mom just like you...

Lot of Love Day and Everyday

Your Daugther Melissa

Mother's Day seems to get harder and harder to celebrate, I guess this is because for the past few years I have wanted to be a mother just like everyone around me. I always thought that I would be a mother by now, but it hasn't happen so today is a tough day for me. I read this poem earlier this week and it truly is how I feel and to all my friends and sisters who have never faced infertility this poem is not meant to be hurtful it is just how I feel and I love all my friends and sisters and they are wonderful mom's to their kids. This poem gives me HOPE and says so much about how I feel sometimes.

There are women who become mothers without effort,

without thought, without patience or loss,

and though they are good mothers and love their children,

I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited.

I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life,
the people who truly have appreciation
are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep,explore, and discover.

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,

knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him
and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense;
that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to
or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend,

and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment,

as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face,
yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,
of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

So today if you know someone that is longing to be a mother please be sensitive about the feelings they are having today and pray for them today that they will get their dream of being a mother some day soon. Happy Mother's Day!