There is one thing that I know for sure that throughout this year I have become a stronger person. The word that comes to mind is STRENGTH. I have developed STRENGTH in many areas of my life. I have developed STRENGTH, don't get me work there are still moments that I cry and have sad days, but overall I have developed STRENGTH to not let infertility run my life. I know that during the difficult days that my family has faced and is facing, especially my mom, with the sad news of our very ill Grandpa that I have had tremendous STRENGTH and understanding that this is God's plan. It isn't what we want, but since learning that Grandpa is in a lot of pain and not improving at all I know that he would not want to be living this way. Nor would he want his family members to see him this way. I know that it is sad for my mom, my grandma, my aunt, my uncles, and all the grandchildren to say goodbye, but we have to believe that this is God's plan and one day we will be with him again walking in heaven. It would be nice if we could all stop the clocks and turn back time as it would comfort us all knowing that he would be here for many more days, but we just can't. We have to have STRENGTH to know that it is okay and that one day we will all be together again in Heaven. As the end nears for Grandpa we know that there will be many tears as he is no longer with us and we will miss him terrible, but we have to hold on to the memories with him and look into the future of all the new memories we will create with him in Heaven. This I do know! I hope that everyone that is with Grandpa now helps create and cherish the memories they are making with him. I cherish every moment I have had with my Grandpa Faraway. He is a one of a kind man that always knows how to make me smile and laugh until my stomach hurts. I remember the summers that we would go and stay with them in Idaho and all the summer trips we took to Idaho, oh how I hated those windy roads through the mountains and the smelly sugar beet factory. But once we were there and we got use to the smell we always had a great time, weather it was hanging out at my grandparents home, on the Snake River, riding horses, or simply playing my Grandpa was always there by our side. In all my Grandpa has had STRENGTH to face many obstacles in his life. And this is one that is truly testing his STRENGTH and at the end of the day I do hope and pray that he can pull through and get stronger and fight the battle he is on, but if not that STRENGTH will be with him until the end. I hope that my family can have STRENGTH for the difficult days ahead and they will walk away with a little STRENGTH that grandpa has and live their life with his STRENGTH each and every day. I know that I have more STRENGTH than I have had in the past. Truly this is one thing that I am thankful for during my struggles of infertility that I have STRENGTH.
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